Poem 29

Trivial

Later,

I curse myself for saying such

trivial, unclever things,

instead of ignoring him

as I should.

Apparently it's impossible for me to hold my tongue

when I see him.

Poem 28

Relative Spacing

I noticed how close you walked by me

on the sidewalk

today.

But later,

I couldn't help wondering

if it was only me,

automatically moving towards you.

Then I remembered

you stayed beside me the whole time.

Poem 27

Cloud No More

She was so bubbly,

full of laughter and open-eyed wisdoms,

long blonde hair over shaded lids.

Now her eyes are shaded on purpose.

Hair artfully blown back,

Wisdom tossed away in return for

Other Interests.

The young girl isn't even fighting to get out.

She's simply gone.

And all of us,

the ones who loved her,

mourn the tragedy

of a spirit taken away too soon.

Poem 26

Impossible Bond

Huddled in my pine,

I turn to glance across the grass

at the two boys in the other tree.

I didn't expect them to be laughing,

but there they were,

jabbering animatedly

in words too low to hear.

They don't notice that my arms

are held tight around my knees,

that I have to blink

more than normal

to keep away the tears.

They have some bond

that I can only view from afar --

but that I would give anything

to have with them.

An hour of silence

proves it's impossible.

Poem 25

Fantasy

I live in a fantasy.

It's a very simple one, really.

Only focused on you.

In the hall you walk up to me.

You smile,

You say my name.

Sometimes you even ask what I'm doing

later.

You never pass by without a glance.

Not the way you do when I actually see you.

Poem 24

Self-Inflicted

I tried to block you out.

I turned away,

barely saw you.

It hurt not to see you.

But it didn't work.

While I still craved your smile,

You didn't see me.

You didn't turn.

That hurt much more.

Poem 23

Look Deeper

You don't know me --

You don't understand me.

You look at me and think you don't want to.

But I'm sure if you tried

You'd find I'm not so different from yourself,

Only human --

And then maybe

You might care.

Poem 22

Alone

"My friends should be around here,"

he says.

He scans the crowded hall,

finally jumping down the stairs

to a group of people there.

You follow.

You strike a pose near him,

as though watching for

somebody else.

But he doesn't notice.

He's forgotten you in their jokes

and the rolling of eyes.

Dejected, rejected,

you sit alone across the way,

watching him through unmoving lids.

Once, he glances in your direction.

Poem 21

Blessing

You'll realize, in time,

How much you take for granted,

How your heart beats in your chest,

How your mind is uncluttered and free.

You're blessed.

Look around you.

Ask me, I know --

If you can, you are rich.

You don't need to depend

On people you've never seen before.

You can do so much.

Take your chance.

Be free.

Poem 20

Pass or Fail

Tell the truth.

Don't flatter me,

Don't please me,

Tell me

the

Truth.

Tell the truth.

Do you even care?

Or do you just put up

with me?

I want to hear

what I mean to you

So tell the truth,

tell

the truth.

I want to hear

that you care,

that you're there,

that I mean something

to you

but

I want to hear

only

the truth.

Poem 19

Kiss in the Air

There might have been something

between us in the air.

Who can tell if I imagined it,

or if you were actually holding back

and a kiss for me lingered there?

You could have put your arm around me,

smiled, stroked my hair --

or did I just imagine

that kiss between us in the air?

Maybe your mind was on other things,

your focus not quite there,

for I studied the eyes that never turned to me,

in the face that is so fair.

But something made me stop and wonder,

for you moved with so much care,

if maybe I didn't imagine it --

our kiss still in the air.

Poem 19

last night as i slept

-- last night as i slept
i dreamt all i loved was locked in a cage
by white coats that wanted to study it.
i pleaded and cried
and tried to save it
but they stood stiff as ice.
it was wasting away,
all alone behind bars
that weren't its fault.
i never managed to succeed,
though i tried with all my heart --
and by the end it had passed on.

When I awoke
I remembered you were gone.

Emulation of "13 ways of looking at a blackbird"

13 ways of looking at a hand

I
Out of the corner of your eye
you see the movement
of many hands.

II
A hand alone
is complete.
Two hands intertwined
are complete.

III
Of all the parts of your body,
your hands
pledge to help you the most.

IV
A ballet dance.
Graceful hands.

V
The fire is crackling
and he stretches out
his feet and hands
to warm them from the cold.

VI
You look at them close up --
hands are so big.
Look up.
See the stars and moon.
how big are those specks of pink
now?

VII
Her hands with tapered pale nails,
settled on her lap
as though they were not there.

VIII
The child clutches his blankets to his chin,
terrified
that the shadows dancing on the wall
will reach out with spindly hands
and capture him.

IX
Behind the screen, the movement of a hand
twirls purposefully.

X
Long arm,
gently bent at the elbow,
thinning into wrist
with a strong hand at the end.

XI
Do you not see
the war veterans
without arms?
Without arms they have no hands.

XII
The man takes her hand
and lightly brushes his lips
across her fingers.

XIII
In the loneliness of an empty room,
the only absence
is of dancing hands.

GAH

Oh my gosh, where has the time gone? I actually haven't written much lately, just a few poems that I don't have with me at the moment. Update ASAP. I am working on something that came ot me today, though.

Perhaps the rain falls too lightly

alighting on curly red hair...

Poem 18

Misinformed Writers

Nobody really feels

quite that way.

Nobody really has

a hole through their chest

a pit in their stomach.

Those are just silly words

for silly writers

While the real

flesh and blood and heart people

think they must be wrong --

instead of those misinformed

writers

Poem 17

Mental Masochist

It's probably my weakness.
I can never help myself
if it means hurting another.
I just let them assume
and be human
While silently killing myself
so that they will not be injured.

Poem 16

When I am in your arms

When I am in your arms
I am simply nerves and lungs and heart
My heart beating soveryfast
in my chest
My lungs to match you
with each perfect breath,
two joined as one
And my nerves
all of them to feel you
right here next to me.
I simply melt into you.
I would be nothing
without you nearby.

Poem 15

Our Story

It's not his story.
He was wounded from the start,
Vulnerable from his words.

It's not her story.
She tried to ignore the truth,
And became more hurt than healed.

It's not their story.
They never really cared at the start,
So how could the end have been different?

No, it's our story.
The last two people thought of,
Stepping together first.

Our lovely story,
Where everything that's been solved
Is meant to last a lifetime.

Poem 14

Dust

She stops.

She really thought I knew.

When did it change?

I told him everything

those things I wouldn't tell you

and we always had fun

always talked always laughed

So it must be on purpose now

how he's run away

run to you

leaving me in his dust

Everyone says time heals

but I know he'll never be back.

I may see that smile of his

but it's always because of you.

If he missed me

he would respond.

Poem 13

Diamond Mask

Living in a lie

You wake up with that mask

It seals you from the world

From the hateful glares of people

You walk along, expressionless

The mask lets nothing through

People call you moody, unresponsive

And yet it slips when you see her

Opens a crack the size of the world

To let in pain

The hole doubles in size.

You go home

Where you know you can't get help

But you hide from it

Still with that mask

You can forget for a while

And overnight the mask heals

Sealing again into your diamond prison

For nothing is real

Without her nearby

And even the hateful glares of people

Cannot touch you.

Poem 12

Empty Chair

Mother comes up one day

tears on her face

and shouts, "****'s DEAD!"

We sit in shocked silence

while she calls his neighbor,

a friend.

His mother wouldn't tell anybody

how he did it or why.

All we know:

he made his own choice.

In black, my father and brother visit.

They bring back fruit.

****'s family doesn't want it anymore.

Nobody mentions it again

But when we see them

There's something missing, wrong,

As they pretend to have fun

half a year later

I know we're all thinking

He would have sat there.

Poem 11

Third

Longer and longer pauses

work into our conversations.

You used to be

the one to turn to

cheer up

reminisce with...

but since then who knows?

Have you left

or have I?

Arguments slither in

always about the same thing

what you did.

And I can't talk to you

not anymore

The weeks pass and I don't know you're gone

then a greeting...

and silence.

That third presence,

always there.

Growing rapidly,

feeding off of pain

mistrust...

disunity.

And yet we can't make it leave.

Sorry, back

Sorry guys, I'm back from vacation of course, and I have many new poems, but my life is really busy now, so I'll try to update when possible. This may not be as often as you'd like but I'd rather get more sleep than update poems. :)